Run it in until it smokes...then back off a quarter turn!
One possible way to develop "feel" is to take a piece of aluminum and drill/tap some holes. Take a steel bolt and turn it until you strip the aluminum. Or try different stages of tightness and see how the aluminum gives a bit each time the bolt is tightened.
Whenever possible, use as little torque as necessary to get the job done. Except for the real critical bolts, the others can be initially tightened and then you can wait and see if that is "good enough". If it loosens, then it wasn't tight enough. These are the kind of connections that are not catastrophic if they loosen during the ride. Check the bolts after each ride until you see they're not coming off.
One can reduce the possibility of over torquing by using the right tools. I like to use a nut driver on the oil pan bolts. It's quite a bit harder to over tighten using it...far better than a torque wrench or even a ratchet.
My 3¢...
Kurt in S.A.